On Turning and Storks

Good day, folks. This is your friend, the still breech baby. I like it being upright, even if it is making my Mommy nervous. I told you all time and time again that I am a born procrastinator - blame Daddy. I do plan on turning around. I said I would today, but then I got involved with a handy craft (I was making Easter bonnets for my fellow Insiders) and never got around to it. Tommorrow, I promise you, Mommy. I may be a procrastinator, but when I make my mind up, I do it. Sadly, I can see too well that when I make my mind up to turn, it will be at 2 am, after Mommy has been working an evening shift. I can't imagine it will be too pleasant for any of us. But, I will be turned! I will try my very best to turn at a convenient time, though, Mommy. Shall we say Monday morning at 8:30? I'll mark it in my planner.

I received an email from my friend the stork today (you know, Edgar!). Here it is:

Dear Wee Too,
Time, as you know, is drawing near. I've been in considerable preparation. I've been exercising my beak for the journey - a baby bundle gets heavy to carry, you know! I have been beak pressing 25lbs, so that surely should condition me enough. I have received work from our coordination centre on the date that you are to make your journey. Unfortunately, it is decreed by the Code of the Storks that I make this known to no one. Further information on date and time will come only 24 hours prior to our trip.

I hope you have been working on that checklist I sent along back in February. I have attached in the body of this mail the list, and kindly request that you check off all that you have completed, and return it to me ASAP.

• Turn around (head down, feet up, avoid back labour position).
• Choose an outfit to be born in (or specify naked in the return form).
• Clean up Womb.
• Practice crying.
• Determine what colour hair you want.
• Practice snuggling into Mommy (and Daddy).

I trust that the list is completed, but do ask for confirmation to this end.

I have sent by Courier Pizza a swaddle blanket and safety harnesses for our trip. I've included instructions on their operation. I ask that you practice putting them on, and become familiar with the mechanisms. When notice is given on my arrival, I will expect you to be swaddled and strapped in. It is a safety measure, you know! Our trip will take us to high altitudes (recall that I am making a special trip for you alone!), so I have included provisions to that extent too, such as balloonist glasses, and a hat.

I look forward to our trip, my dear friend. Until The Time,

Your Friend,
Edgar

What?!? Turn?! Clean Womb!? Ack! Alright. Maybe I do need to get on the ball here and now. I don't want an angry stork on my hands. I will do my best, Edgar. Don't you worry your strong beak one bit!

In other news, I think I may have bit off more than I can chew (figuratively, and literally!) At breakfast, big brother was talking about how much he loved Cheerios. "I could eat a million billion Cheerios!" he professed. Well, I like teasing big brother, so I spoke up; "I could eat a million billion and one Cheerios!" Well, big brother got excited! "Care to put your Cheerios where your mouth is?" he exclaimed. "I challenge you to a duel! Cheerios at dawn (when you get out). Just you, me, and a box of Cheerios each. The one with the most eaten before Mommy and Daddy take a picture of us and take the boxes away wins!" Eep. I was just teasing big brother! I did not know what to say. So, I of course blurted out: "Its a duel!" So, I now have a Cheerio duel set against the meanest Cheerio slinger in the house. Eep. I have read that it takes several months before I can even eat Cheerios. Let's hope big brother does not remember the challenge. I am sure some day I will be a match for him, but right now...eep.

Well, I will put the Cheerio challenge out of my mind, and work on the logistics of turning. It will be a tight fit. I also need to repy to Edgar, check on my plants, and do yoga with Stomach! Oh, the life of a Wee Too! I wish you all well in the day ahead!