Knight Day

Hi everyone! As you are certainly aware, everything has been so tense in here since 2007 began. Well, this morning I woke up, saw Heart still sagging a bit, saw Stomach reading a book with a forlorn look, and saw Bladder doing nothing; just sitting there.

"Stop!" I yelled with all my might. Everyone stopped doing nothing and turned toward me. "Look at all of you!" I shouted with passion. "Here we are, moping around, tired out, doing nothing!"

Everyone looked confused, and slumped a little bit more.

"A party!" I shouted. "A party is what we need!"

Everyone still slumped. Then, Bowel let out a sigh, and mumbled, "A...party? What...kind of a party?" Now ears began to perk, and postures became a little more upright.

"Well," I began with glee. My Daddy was telling me that when he was a young'n, him and his sister used to put pots on their heads, and beat each other with soup ladles. He called it "Playing Knight". So, we could have a Knight Day! I'll be the Knight."

Stomach jumped in: "I'll be the damsel! Oh! Oh! Can I be in distress?" Bladder responded: "Yes." Happy with the confirmation, Stomach trotted off to make a pointy pink hat with a ribbon flying high on it. She looked quite like a pointy pink flag pole.

Bladder then got very excited: "Can I be the one to wear a pot on my head?" she asked. Stomach was heard to respond from the background: "Yes." Happy with her confirmation, Bladder set out to find the perfect pot. She found one with rice and hamburg in it, dumped it out, and placed it on her head. Happy, she skipped off to practice wearing it.

Bowel was now very excited: "O! Oo! Can I be the one to beat Bladder on the head with a soup ladle?" A hoarse cry from Bladder was heard in the background: "No." I then interjected with: "Yes." Happy, Bowel went off to find a mighty ladle, and began beating Bladder's pot.

I rummaged around in my Womb and found a Knight's helmet, a rubber sword, and a goat. We all congregated in the Central Hall, and began our Knight Day.

Pancreas was the master of ceremonies, and opened the day with a mighty blow on her trumpet. "I declare this: Knight Day!" she resounded as we all cheered. Then, we all just stood there. "What do we do?" I asked. Everyone 'ummed' and 'oomed' for a bit, squirming around, looking at the floor. "Oh! Oh!" shouted Stomach. "I could swoon, and Sir Too the Wee could save me!" We all cheered. Stomach swooned, and I saved her. It was a blast!

Next, Bowel suggested that she give a demonstration of medieval ladling. Bladder grimaced, and hid behind Heart. We all applauded as poor Bladder reluctantly stepped into the stadium. For the next forty five minutes, Bowel ladled Bladder in the traditional way, opening our eyes to the way our forefathers might have ladled one another. It made me wonder if this was how my Daddy ladled when he was a lad. I paid careful attention to Bowel's technique, as I can see many a ladle match between me and big brother.

We then sat down to a feast. Brain had ordered us a meatball sub for the festivities, and it was about to arrive. We all reclined at the table (it was a round table) and partook in the glory of the meatball (you might recall that the meatball sub is the sacred food of the Knight). Each of us then partook on the Holy Tum (you might recall, the Holy Tum was taken by Knights after the Sacred Meatball to keep the Evil Indigestion at bay).

After the feast, we all reclined while the goat performed two acts of "The Quest for the Holy Grails" (a Sir Mop original!) The sun then began to set, the livestock all withdrew to wherever livestock go, and we all grew ever so tired after our long, long day of fun. We raised our chalices to the air in a toast to happy times. Each of us withdrew to our quarters, to step out of our costumes, and into our dreams.

I laid on my bed of straw thinking about how fun a day it had been. As I drifted off to sleep, I imagined what it would be like when I could play Knight Day with Mommy and Daddy and big brother. Mommy would be the damsel, I am sure. Daddy could be the one to wear a pot on his head. Big brother and I could be Knights, and all of us would bang on Daddy's pot with ladles. Then, we'd all sit at the table with the sunset shining through our big kitchen door; we'd feast on Meatball subs, clink our sippy cups in a toast, then file into the living room to watch the Backyardagins "Knights are Brave and Strong" episode, while big brother and I fell asleep on Mommy and Daddy. I smiled a big Knighty smile, sunk deeper into my straw bed, and fell into the deepest, most satisfying sleep I had all month.