The Swim Meet

Well, today was the big day; the swim meet between me and Bladder. I think I've mentioned now and then that each morning I do my stretches and swimming. Well, one day Bladder was all scowly because I had hit her a few times, making her, erm, not comfortable. Ole Bladder, she scowled and grumped, and grumped and scowled and grumped at me. With the hope of perhaps changing the subject from her discomfort, I made a remark about my swimming.

"So, I'm getting better at my swimming, Bladder. Do you swim?" I asked very politely.

"Swim? Why, I've been swimmin' since before your big brother was in here. I swam so much that Stomach once thought I was a duck, or a beaver, or some semi-aquatic animal. Do I swim? (scowl and scoff)" replied Bladder in a most surly tone. The conversation took off from there. Bladder going on and on, and me slowly stepping back. Actually, I retired into my home, read a book about a monkey, and when I came back out, Bladder was still going on and on! She did not even notice she was talking to herself.

"And another thing, Wee Too, I could beat you in a race!" she stammered as I came back out to greet her. At that moment, Pancreas was passing by, with her nose in a book. She dropped it, and ran to the nearest phone. "Goodness! Goodness! Bladder, and (huff puff) Wee Too (puff huff) are going to (huff huff) have a race! A swim! A swim meet!" Stomach happened to be on the other end of the phone. "A swim meet?!" she asked. "A swim meet!" replied Pancreas. Both dropped their respective ends of the phone, and off they went to tell everyone.

"Psst. Wee Too is going to race Bladder! Pass it on," said Bladder to Appendix.

"Psst. Wee Too passed Bladder in a race!" said Appendix to Bowel.

"Psst. Wee Too beat Bladder ina race, and Bladder threw a hissy fit, and stomped around a bit, and locked herself in her room, and the fire fighters are trying to get her out!" said Bowel to Liver.

"I heard you and Bladder got into a huge fight, and that you pushed Bladder into her room, and the door got stuck, and the police are now investigating, and trying to get Bladder out. There will be a candle light vigil for her tonight," said Liver to me.

"What?" I replied.

"She means, 'so, your going to race Bladder?' " whispered Stomach to me.

So, apparently, a race date had been set, and I was to train for the big day (which, consequently, was the next day). Pancreas knit me a very nice swimming outfit, with a big picture of my face on the back, and a big number one. Bladder had recruited surly Bowel as a coach, and together they were training hard. However, early on, Bowel discovered Bladder could not even swim, and, indeed, she was rather water-logged. Was that an issue? Not terribly so!

At word that Bladder could not swim, the services of Appendix were contracted on the sly. You see, Appendix is a whiz at plastic works, and through her super skills, she fashioned two bright orange flotation devices for Bladder. Stomach, who felt bad for poor Bladder, donated a swimming ring that looked like a sheep. I certainly held nothing against Bladder for her words of surlydom, nor did hold the race against her. So, I passively watched her prepare, and stayed safe and sound in my Womb.

Soon, we were all sleeping, dreaming sweet dreams of frozen puddles, whales, and so on. The sun rose, and Liver played a bugle. "Bugle-bugle-bugle" it bugled. I stretched, and nudged Mommy a good morning nudge. I put on my swimming sweater that Pancreas knit me, and ventured out to the pool. Bladder was there with Bowel on her right, and Appendix on her left. Appendix held her head in her hands, and Bladder looked forlorn at her feet. Bowel spoke.

"It is with regret that we must forefit the match."

"Forefit? Why? Bladder, my friend, are you not feeling well?" I asked with concern.

"(sniff)" Wee Too. You are so kind. But, I've...I've been bad! Surly, even. Wee Too; I...I cannot swim!" and Bladder burst into tears, as Appendix held up her now deflated orange floaters she had made for Bladder.

"Aw, Bladder. That's no bother! I can teach you how to swim, you know! And those floaters? Well, Appendix, never before have I seen such glorious floaters! We will patch them together! But, in the meantime, let's all sit down for a bite and a chat! Friends?"

"Friends!" everyone shouted. Stomach dried a tear from her eye. "My little Wee Too is growing up," she said, and turned to her puzzles. Me, Bladder, Pancreas, Bowel, and Appendix all went to the Cafe sur la Desdans for a breakfast treat, and some hearty chat among friends. What a lovely day it turned out to be!

And now, I must go to sleep, my friends. Tomorrow - time permitting - I'll regail you with the tales of our Christmas parties on Saturday! Until then, have a pleasant day!