My Birth

At 6:46 on the evening of the twentieth day of May, two thousand and seven, I ceased to be Wee Too, the Insider, and proudly became Eric Tyler, an Outsider. I thank you all with such kindness for following this blog of mine. It is with both happiness and sadness that I sit here, an Outsider, to type my final entry. I wish each and every one of you all the best.

The Birth of Eric Tyler

Chapter I. Darn Steak
To provide a little background, a few weeks ago my Grampy P. called Mommy to let her know he would be in the city soon, and that he'd like to take us all out for supper. "Great!" my Mommy exclaimed. "When do you plan to be up?" "On the 19th," he replied. "What?! Do you honestly think I'll be going to dinner then? It is my due date! Surely, surely, Wee Too will have arrived by then! Silly, silly father of mine." Well, that was the end of it. Mommy finished working, went on leave, and spent many an uncomfortable day being hauled around the house by an energetic toddler - my very own big brother. On the 18th - just this past Friday, my dear Grampy phone Mommy, and smugly said, "Still up for that dinner." Mommy grumped.

Grampy arrived, and I was still safe and sound on the Inside. Mommy grumped some more, and grampy looked triumphant for being right. Poor Mommy. We all loaded into the car; me and Mommy, Daddy and big brother, Grampy P., and Nanny O., who had come to stay with us to watch over big brother while Daddy was at work. Poor Mommy. The meal was delightful. The waitress saw us all making merry, drinking our coffee and tea, eating our bread, and asked if we were celebrating anything. Grampy P. remarked that it was Mommy's due date. Mommy grumped and sunk into her seat a little. I sighed, and waited for the meal. Mommy and I ordered a very big steak, with lots and lots and lots of peppers, and yummy stuff on the side. Stomach groaned, for he is not terribly find of red meat. I just lay there, upside down.

The meal was grand, and Mommy liked it very much. The sun set on the due date, and all Mommy and I could do was sigh that it had come and gone. Sigh. We bid farewell to Grampy, and settled into bed; we'd have to wait some more.

Midnight came, and with it, I was officially overdue. Daddy laid in the bed next to us, snoring, and making strange Daddy sounds, like most Daddy's do. Mommy and I slept, though very lightly. An hour past midnight - that is to say, one in the morning, Mommy began to feel very strange. Crampy. Icky. I awoke. Ughhhhhh. I was being...squished. I was just laying around, submitting to the fact that I'd be in here for ever. Then...squeeze! Then...nothing. Mommy groaned, and mentally kicked herself for ordering a big steak. We laid there in bed, half awake, and half asleep, Mommy trying to muster the energy to reach the night stand and get a Tum for her tummy. Then...squeeze! "Ughhhhh," went I, as my face got all squished up, and my home got two sizes too small. "Poor Stomach! That steak must have been a killer on her! She must be convulsing or something," I thought as my home relaxed again.

For the next hour, Mommy felt really crampy, and I felt periodically squished. So periodically squished, in fact, that Mommy began to doubt it was the steak after all. Squish. Time. Squish. 20 minutes. Squish. Time. Squish. 20 minutes. With that, Mommy thought it fitting to wake the snoring beast that is my Daddy.

"Daddy, Daddy! Wake up! Wake up! I think I'm having contractions?" The snoring beast stirred, and rolled over, thinking it was the steak, and almost reaching for Tums. But, he could hear the sincerity in Mommy's voice. This was real. I felt my own stomach sink, and the butterflies began to swirl. Contractions? Squish. Squeeze. Ughhhhh.

Chapter II. Nice Day for a Walk
Daddy turned on the lights, and helped Mommy and I to the bathroom. Poor Mommy could hardly walk, and every time she did, it squished my head. Oww. In the bathroom, Mommy discovered she was bleeding a little. "Don't panic!" she called out to Daddy, who was frantically packing the last few items into our hospital bag. The squeezing was getting tighter, and more frequent. This either the real thing, or Mommy ate the mother of all steaks. I called out to my fellow Insiders, "Help!" I cried. "Wh...what's going on here? Do you feel it? Contractions? Wh...what'll I do?" Uterus was getting noisy, and I could barely make out the voice of my dear friend, Stomach. "It's time, Wee Too! You're time has come! Uterus, she is angry, and she wants you out. You're ready! You can do this!" "N...no, I'm not. I'm not ready. I don't know what to do! I want my stork. I want my balloon ride through the night! I don't want Uterus! Uterus! Oh, Uterus! Stop!"

But, Uterus was not stopping. She was grinding her teeth - metaphorical ones, of course, and Uterus' rarely have teeth, thank goodness. She was bearing down on me at intervals of 8 or ten minutes. Daddy prepared a shower for my Mommy, who could barely lift her legs over the side of the tub. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, Daddy did not know what to think. I cool shiver came over him, reminding him of the excitement he felt waiting for his parents to wake him on Christmas morning. "Its time," he thought.

After a painful shower, Mommy dressed, and Daddy escorted her upstairs, suitcase in hand. Nanny O. was sleeping on the couch, dreaming sweet dreams about pop corn. Mommy fixed her hair in the bathroom mirror, as Daddy woke Nanny. "Ummm...I think we are going to the hospital. Mommy has been having contraction since one, and they are getting closer." Mommy screamed, and breathed short little breaths as Uterus tightened around me. "Oh my Heavens! Really?" remarked a startled and sleepy Nanny. Daddy left instructions for what Nanny should do when big brother wakes, and out the door we went.

In the car, we were all quiet. The sun had yet to rise, and the streets were empty. Rain fell from the sky, and the darkness of the night and the storm closed around Daddy like Uterus around me. Daddy still felt that nervous, excited shiver. Mommy felt pain. I felt like I was going to be sick. This couldn't really be it? For all the waiting I'd done, it looked like my time was here, but I did not feel ready. I felt a lump in my throat. "I can't come yet! I promised Bladder a game a checkers! She'll be disappointed. Uterus? Please stop! I'm not ready! I don't know if I'll be a good son just yet! Give me time!" Uterus did not listen, and only clamped harder.

After a half hour of driving, we arrived at the hospital. Daddy felt a wave of significance pass over him as we passed through the doors. "Wee Too passes through these doors on the Inside. Next time we travel though, he'll be in our arms, coming home, and Outsider." Mommy just felt pain as another contraction made her weak.

After the customary administrative details, we were upstairs in the big baby hospital, lying on a bed, a monitor listening to my heart, and one measuring the anger of Uterus. According to the results, Uterus was not terribly angry, and I was not terribly affected. "What???!" I exclaimed, as I heard the nurse ask Mommy if they could possibly be something else. I was furious! Here I was, being squeezed out of house and home by my home. Mommy was walking bow-legged and doubling over in pain. Daddy was shaking with excitement. The nurse checked Mommy to see if Cerra C. Cervix had opened any more. Nope. No progress? I was stunned. Momentarily, I forgot my apprehension about becoming an Outsider. But I soon realised something else; Uterus seemed a little less angry. She seemed, in fact, like she may have gone to sleep.

Soon, Mommy and Daddy and I were told to go on a walk to try and make Uterus more angry, and Cervix more open. The sky was a dull grey in the morning light, and rain fell coldly from the sky. Mommy and Daddy walked to the big parking garage; the only place they could walk free from the rain on this dreary morning. We all felt a little down as we made out way by the parked cars and nesting birds. "It could go on like this for a week," Mommy lamented. Daddy did not know what to say. He knew Mommy was right. Things were happening, but they seemed to have slowed dramatically.

We sauntered into the big baby hospital after an hour of walking. Uterus seemed to be sleeping. Cervix seemed to be stubborn. We were given the option to remain in the hospital, receive some medication for the pain, and try to rest, or to return home. We chose to return home; to see big brother. To rest in our own bed, and to have a nice warm bath. Daddy drove us with some dejection. "Maybe not today."

Chapter III. "I Will Not Go!"
We pulled into the driveway to find big brother standing in the window in his PJs, waiting to greet us. A huge smile wiped across Mommy's face as she waved back. Then. "Ughhhhhh!" squeeze. Squeeze. Ughhhhhhh! Mommy got weak in the driveway. Uterus was not sleeping.

After making several telephone calls, Mommy and I took big brother down to lay in the bed with us for a nice Sunday morning nap. Uterus was not sleeping, but she was also not terribly ambitious. Daddy rubbed us, and we all drifted slowly into the land of sleep, waking briefly every 12 minutes when Uterus decided to get mad. Well, Mommy slept. I just couldn't I was too confused, upset, and excited. When it looked like I was making my journey, I got scared, and wanted it to stop. Uterus stopped, and I immediately got sad because she had. I could not understand why I felt so fickle. Stomach reassured me that all my feelings were perfectly normal. I tried to rest. For the first time that day, I knew in my heart that the time had come. I close my eyes, swallowed a lump in my throat, and waited.

Just two short hours later, Mommy and I both woke up. Uterus was getting madder. Squeeze! Time. 10 minutes. Squeeze. Time. 8 minutes. We laid in bed as Daddy timed how mad Uterus was. With an iron will I yelled, "Bring it on, Uterus! Give me all you have!" Uterus tightened around me, and I yelled in both pain and excitement.

My Aunty M. had arrived at our home. It had been agreed that she would accompany Mommy, Daddy and I to the big baby hospital to watch my graduation from the Inside. She helped Daddy lift Mommy and I from the bed, and into the bathroom. Mommy grew weak as the anger of Uterus grew to within five minutes. I could sense Daddy was getting nervous; "I'm nervous, Mommy. Shouldn't we go back to the big baby hospital?" With resolution to stay at home as log as possible, Mommy gritted her teeth as Uterus contracted. "No! Run me a bath. I need to shave my legs." "Yes M'am" replied a jittery Daddy, not willing to contradict a labouring Mommy too much.

Mommy laid in the bath, and Daddy helped her to relax. I just lay on the Inside, a look of determination on my face, meeting each of Uterus' fits of rage with strength and will beyond anything I knew I had. It was wearing on Mommy. Between the fits of Uterine anger, I could hear my pals chatting on the Inside. Bladder, it seemed, had heard from Esophagus, who had heard from Sinus, who had heard from Brain that Mommy did not want to leave the house. All my Insider friends were in quite a panic.

The fury of Uterus grew stronger, and even I was finding it difficult to stand up to all of her rage. Mommy was growing weak, but refused to leave the bath. Big brother came in, sensing that something was amiss. He hollered, "Up! Up!" A contraction hit Mommy, she went pale, and began to breathe through it. Big brother laughed, and made little breathing sounds himself, encouraging Mommy. To me he said, "Fun, eh? She you soon, little guy!" then he went off to play with a bus.

Lunch time had passed, and Daddy helped a reluctant Mommy from the tub. The squeezes were nearly unbearable, and were spaced all of 4 minutes apart. Mommy dressed, and hobbled upstairs. "I'm alright. Its noting; probably just the steak. Make me lunch, you silly husband!" she spoke. Daddy made a fine lunch of toast with cheese, and made sure everything was ready in the car. Mommy sat at the computer, reading gossip blogs, pretending she felt fine, and gritting her teeth anytime someone said she needed to go to the big baby hospital. Poor Mommy.

I was loosing my strength to meet all of the anger of Uterus. It was becoming too much. I was still on the Inside. It did not feel like I was getting any closer. It was all just too strange. As Mommy finished her toast and Uterus released a wallop of a contraction, Daddy and Aunty M. escorted an unwilling Mommy to the car. Mommy stood in the middle of the driveway, hands on her knees, unable to make it further. Daddy slowly guided her to her seat, and off we went. Back to the big baby hospital. The ride was...uncomfortable. Bumps, and stops and gos and bigger bumps, and contractions, and bumps and oh the pain of it all. I could not face any more of the Uterine anger. I lay on the Inside, letting them come and go. Squeeze and release.

Again the car was parked, and again Mommy lay on a bed, a monitor measuring my heart beat, and Uterus' anger. Again, it said Uterus was rather pleasant. Silly monitor. The nurses could see that Mommy was visibly shaken, and in great pain. Even though Cervix had not opened any further, they decided to admit Mommy into a birthing room. This was it. Early afternoon had rolled around, the rain had stopped, and a few rays of sun could be seem shining through the trees. Mommy lay on the bed, feeling miserable, breathing deep and slow through contractions as Daddy and Aunty M. encouraged her. Everything around me seemed to swirl, and lump together, and squeezes blended together, and it was more than I could stand. I just wanted out.

Chapter IV. Nurse?! Nurse!!
Seeing the obvious discomfort of Mommy, nurse ordered some relief for Mommy. The relief is a magical tonic that goes into Mommy's back, and spreads everywhere, making it much more pleasant for both Mommy and I. "Ahhhh...relief!" I thought. Uterus had begun screaming and pounding, and yelling, "Get out! Get out!" Things were getting pretty bad on the Inside. The Doctor arrived shortly to administer the relief. Mommy was told to lean forward, and make herself into a little Ball. This kind of squished me, and made me feel funny. "Just a little poke to freeze the site," commented the Doctor. "Owwwww! Ohhhhh! Owwwwww!" said Mommy as a poke or two or three mixed with a contraction or two or three. "It'll feel like pressure in your back," calmly commented the Doctor. "Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww" yelled Mommy in considerable pain. Another poke. Another. A few more freezing pokes. Mommy winced and wept in pain. I grew angry! More pokes. Soon, a new Doctor tried. "Please work! Please work!" I prayed. Then, "Whoah!" and everything felt funny. It was like Uterus had turned into a big squishy wet foamy thing and was squishin' and I wasn't makin' any sense an' Mommy felt better an' I was gettin' tired. Doctor was successful. The immediate drowsiness passed, and I adjusted to the new sensations. I could feel Uterus kicking and punching, and she felt strong, but in a different way. It is hard to explain.

A new Doctor came in while Mommy and I were enjoying out magical tonic. Water breaking time. First, Doctor checked my pal Cervix. Around 4 cm. "Woopity doo!" I called out in an only half coherent state. The magical tonic was great. Doctor explained the process of breaking the water, but, unfortunately, I was not paying very close attention at that point. I was contemplating whether Uterus felt like a big wet sponge or a rubber sheet. Then, all of a sudden..."what the...?" Water went rushing everywhere. "Help! I'm beached!" I called out! Uterus laughed, and squeezed harder! My head felt tingly. It felt like I was moving, or sliding, or something. I could not tell exactly, as the magical tonic had dulled my senses. I kicked and punched and flailed, trying to adjust to my now dry environment. There was no turning back.

The nurse wrote 1822h in her book as the time the water was broke. I kicked, and slid. Let me tell you, my dear friends, it was the strangest sensation I've ever had. I was sliding down further and further. Everything felt different. Air touched my head. Mommy lay there, calm at first. Then...

"Nurse! Nurse! Oh, it hurts! The tonic?! It is not working! Oh, nurse, Ugrhhhhhhhhhhh! Oh! I feel like I've gotta push!" stammered Mommy! "Oh! Mommy! Urghhhhhhhhhh! I feel like I've gotta...be...born! Oh, what's going on...here!" I hollered as Uterus tightened violently around me. Nurse took notice, and checked my friend, Cervix. "Get Good Doctor." nurse calmly requested on the intercom, as she prepared a tray of tools, and spoke evenly to my Mommy who was yelling of her need to push.

I could feel Daddy at my Mommy's side, amidst the confusion of tightening, and the urge to be born. Daddy's speech was light and broken, as he wiped sweat from his brow. He grew white. It was all happening so fast. Still, it was just the good nurse in the room with us. Mommy was yelling about wanting to push. Daddy was near fainting. I was wanting to be born.

"If you feel like you need to push, push," calmly said our nurse. Do you feel my finger? Push down." Mommy pushed. Uterus spasmed. What the heck???! I was sliding down even more. My thoughts were racing. I did not know what to do. I couldn't do anything, really. I was so close.

Mommy cried out that she wanted Good Doctor. Fortunately, Good Doctor lives very close by, and ran into the room. I heard her footsteps. I heard then not through Mommy's belly, but from the Outside. I was almost there. Mommy lay on the bed, holding back her pushes. Daddy stood by her side, pale as could be, nearly slipping in the pool of his own sweat that had collected. "Push!" yelled Good Doctor. I heard people scuffling around. "Push!"

"What th..." How can I possibly explain this. My head was out. That was all. Just my head. Mommy was ordered to stop pushing. I was stuck, a little In, a little Out. I felt something 'round my neck. "Strange," I though amidst the confusion, "I don't remember putting on a scarf?" Then I heard a clip, and the scarf was off and a "Push!" and...

Oh my goodness! I was out! Someone was holding me and there were colours and people and noises and cold and air and towels, and blankets and everything going on and what do I do?! I was rushed to a warm table, and laid down. My head swirled, and I did not know if I was dreaming. What was going on?! It was more than I could take, and I let out a big sob. I heard Mommy and daddy cry tears of joy with my cry of confusion. What was going on?!

I was wrapped in a blanket - oh, what a warm blanket it was! What a lovely, cozy, warm blanket. My cry subsided. I stretched out my arms and legs. I had room! I embraced the blanket around me. I had warmth! The sights and sounds flooded through me, and my crying stopped. I laid there, warm. An Outsider.

Chapter V. Mommy and Daddy
As I lay on the table being poked and prodded and cleaned and wrapped, everything went silent for a moment. To my right was a window. My head turned to face it. I saw my dear stork, Edgar, hovering outside in his balloon, wearing goggles, and holding a pair he had made special for me. He gave me a smile, and drifted up high into the sky.

As Edgar faded out of sight, the world came back, and there I was, tightly wrapped in warm blankets, being carried across the room. I was plced in the waiting hand of my Daddy. He laid me down on Mommy's chest. This was the moment I'd waited for. I melted into her, as I looked longingly into her eyes. She stared back. "He's the most beautiful baby in the world," both Mommy and daddy stammered, as they looked at me. I melted deeper into Mommy, feeling the love she felt for me fuse us together. She was so beautiful as I looked at her that first time. I melted into my Mommy, and she into me.

Together, the three of us embraced. I was wrapped in the blankets, but more importantly, I was wrapped in the warm and loving arms of my Mommy and Daddy. A shiver passed over me as I realised I was no longer Wee Too. I laid on Mommy's chest, Eric Tyler.

Epilogue
I've been an Outsider for several days now. I'm home, safe and sound with Mommy and Daddy. Its going to be a good life, folks. I sleep each night, safe and secure, wrapped warm and snug. I cuddle deep in the strong arms of my Daddy; whatever this world of yours may bring, I know that my Daddy will always be there with me to face it. I lie warm and sung on my Mommy's chest; and embrace every second of it. This is what I looked so forward to. When I lay there, I can feel Heart so strong and proud in my Mommy's chest. Way back when we all found out I was a baby with Down syndrome, Heart sunk so deep within Mommy. Even until I was born, Heart still hung a little ower than she used to be. Now, as I lay here, looking at my Mommy, I can feel that Heart is higher than she has ever been. It's going to be a good life, everyone. Let's get started.

With that, I wish you all farewell. I wish you all the best in all that you do. I wish you happiness, and kindness, and understanding. I sadly end this blog, but with great pride and happiness, I begin my life.

Name: Eric Tyler
Weight: 6 lbs, 14 oz
Length: 19.5 inches
Disposition: Just lovely
Hobby: Pooping and Sleeping
Salutation: Good night, all.